Day 1
I cried this morning. Not my usual on a Sunday.
I cried becauseI felt stuck. I am stuck.
How do you get unstuck? You have to move. Yet why does nothing sound appealing for my first step? Career coach might help. Going back to school might help. Switching directions is terrifying, but it might help.
But I also have a sneaky suspicion that a part of this is because of me. I am not believing in myself. Or I’m not appreciating myself. Whatever it is, my confidence is a bit low for a lot of little reasons. And it doesn’t have to be.
I am killing it. If I listed out everything I’m doing I feel like a lot of people would be saying things like ‘you’re good girl’ and ‘don’t worry.’ But if I want to change then I should change and I can change. I want this to be my first step. I want accountability. I want to hold myself accountable. I want to be able to look back a year from now and feel good.
I want to be open about the little things in my life that are lovely and one of a kind. But be honest about the bad as well. I want to romanticize my life because I want to remember that my everyday activities are joyous. Maybe give me a reality check every once in a while.
Which is funny because when I look up the reference to “romanticize your life” the definition is lovely and inspiring - it means to really pay attention to all the little things happening around you. It means to fully live in the moment and to block out those thoughts about tomorrow, tonight, next week, and the fact that you don't know what is going to happen to your life and the world.
But when you just look up romanticism on its own it’s terrible and depressing - it means to deal with or describe in an idealized or unrealistic fashion; make (something) seem better or more appealing than it really is.
Let’s all keep that in mind to not take ourselves and social media presence too seriously.
Let me try to make a to-do list on my journey. Hopefully I do every single one every single day even if it’s just for a second.
Romanticize my life - take a pic biatch it will last longer
Write about it - I AM QUEEN because
But be honest about it - romanticizing my life isn’t about mucking up anyone else's so try to show the embarrassing parts as well.
But there is more. I need to get my shit together. It’s hard to romanticize your life with avocado toast when you don’t have a clean plate to hold it you know?
So if I were reaching for the stars list
Work Out
Stretch
Work Hard
Organize (list within my list lol) list within a list lol)
Eat Right
Romanticize
Find Peace (?!?!) Hobbies (?!?!)
Clean and Tidy the space
Be lovely to my family, friends, and husband
Sleep Early
But let's be real I have a full time job and want to sleep list
Do your best
Romanticize a little bit (get down with your bad self)
Try one thing up on the scary list
Go to bed before 11 unless it’s the weekend!
Today was the first day. I started something I wanted to do for a very long time. I took very instagrammy pictures.
Gave my dog lots of cuddles.
I treated myself a bit with a cheeseburger and pumpkin spice latte.
We will see how the days ends but as of 2:58 in the afternoon I want to remind everyone and myself that you can go out there and make yourself a good day.
What’s the plan stan:
For whatever I will do by the end of the day:
Clean up the house (wow I just did that before I even published I’m so proud of me)
Be in bed by 10
EXTRA CREDIT try to meditate to go to bed. Your pretend conversations that you have in your head before going to bed have to wait until morning)
Monday October 17th
Wake up at 6am (first alarm)
Take Bear on a walk for at least 1 hour
^^Great time to romanticize girl! If not now then later!
Put dirty clothes in the bin
Get to work done - make a fresh to do list at work
Cook something for dinner (try your best girl! I’m rooting for you!!)
EXTRA CREDIT clean up all the cooking you do tonight
I don’t know if doing all this will make me love me. But it sure will keep my house in order. And that is not a bad place to start.
I’ll see you tomorrow!
